What's wrong with me?

LittleBigHorn

New Member
Hi everyone,
just a few thoughts concerning my (failed) cutter this past spring and summer. Now, first off, I pretty much did everything the same as I did last year (late spring & most of the summer). The only difference was that last year I actually managed to lose some 10 lbs of weight AND gain a little strength while at it! A succesfully orchestrated cutter, one might say. I never got to a very ripped BF%, though.. as I seem to be incapable of doing so (repeated attempts.. around 13% ish is where I stop burning fat altogether, no matter how low I go with the calories and/or how much cardio I do). Anyway, I pretty much did things the same this year: gradually lowering my calorie intake to -500 maintenance, doing cardio 3-4 times a week, and lifting twice a day, 3 x a week (splitting the volume between two workouts, doing heavy weights to conserve muscle & strength in the morning, and lighter weights with reps of 15 in the late afternoon for a metabolic boost + joint maintenance). Basically a modified version of HST. I was happy with the results from last year, so I thought it would work well now. It really didn't. I managed to lose a little fat and water weight, but I mostly just burned myself out and had to go back up to maintenace after about 2.5 months of failed attempts at making things work. What's worse is I think I lost a good deal of muscle even though I didn't manage to lose much fat, since my weight went down quite a bit (probably 15 lbs), and I've looked flat, deflated and generally smaller ever since I came off the cutter (I'm currently at my next HST cycle, finished with the 10's, ready for the 6's). I also lost about 22 lbs on my bench press. Oddly enough, my other lifts didn't go down much at all, so it may have been a localised overtraining problem of some sort, specific to the muscles involved in the bench press. I also stopped taking creatine at some point during the mid phase of the (failed) cutter, which may play a part in things going downhill..

Anyway, I'm wondering if it could be a hormonal problem.. why I'm finding it so difficult to burn fat or gain lean mass without my BF% going up. I've never really been at a very high BF%, probably around 18 at most before I started to lift weights (I ate junk food, drank and smoked back then, so I was in comparatively good shape, all things considered), and ever since I started lifting it's been pretty steady at 13% - 16% or so. I think I could get fat easily if I tried to seriously bulk, though, which I really can't do, since I can never get my BF% down to a low enough number to make bulking up a feasible option!

Another thing; I made pretty good progress during my first 2.5 years of lifting, but ever since then my body composition hasn't really changed at all. I'm going on 3.5 years now. I haven't managed to add any more lean mass (at least not visibly, and not according to the scales, either), nor have I leaned down considerably (i.e. my bodyfat setpoint is pretty much the same as it was at that 2.5 year mark). I have made some strength gains during this past year, but they haven't been that spectacular, excepting some lifts that seem to be easy for me naturally.
Looking back on some pics I took after 2 - 2.5 years of lifting, I almost look like I was in better shape back then (even though I may be a bit stronger now)! And that is not cool at all.. in fact, it's very discouraging.

Regarding the possibility of having inadequate testosterone levels; I should by all accounts have a robust sex hormone output (or at least sufficiently strong one for making some kind of bodybuilding progress), being a healthy 22 year old man, but I have to say I don't have a huge sex drive (it's not nonexistent.. just not very powerful), and I'm generally pretty depressed and unmotivated (lifting weights is about the only thing I'm actually motivated about!). I eat very clean, I take my vitamins, minerals, zinc, etc etc, I don't drink any alcohol, and I don't smoke. I also try to get 7-9 hours of sleep every night. I'm just so pissed off and frustrated sometimes with all the effort I'm putting into getting in shape and staying healthy, only to have my body fight back against my efforts. I look at pics of guys who have been lifting for as long as I have (approx. 3 years), and they all seem bigger and leaner than me. That could be a psychological thing, at least in part.. some sort of twisted perception of my own body, making it seem inferior in comparison, but I honestly feel like I've been cheated out of gains that should be rightfully mine. I should look more like a goddamned weight lifter by now instead of an average joe who lifts recreationally!  
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I suppose I'm looking for feedback from people who have been in a similar situation. Advice on how they managed to start making measurable gains is very welcome, too.

Here are a couple of pics of me, just for reference. The angles are deceptive, and I think I look bigger in them than I really am. I'm a hair short of 5'11" tall, and my weight fluctuates between 170 lbs at the very lowest and 188 lbs (I've basically been zig zagging in this weight range ever since my 'newbie gains' ended, after my first 2 years of lifting that took me from 150 lbs to 180, at pretty much the same BF%.. 14% ish).

Oh yeah, my apologies if this rant sounded like a long winded exercise in self pity, but all things considered, I've managed to keep a pretty positive and hopeful outlook on things. I'll never throw in the towel, that's for sure.

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Don't mind the dumb ass faces I'm making, btw.. I find it excruciatingly difficult to have a blank/normal face when I'm taking a pic of myself, or when someone else is taking a pic of me. I always end up looking like a retard.  
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The first two pics were taken last winter, if I recall correctly. The last one with the sun shining through the window was taken this past summer, and that was as low as my BF% would go.
 
Ummm, see a doctor, get your test level checked. The lab test costs about $150.00. Then you'll know for sure.

It could simply be that your diet is off, wrong macronutrient profile, not enough calories (that's right cutting them too low will put you in fat preservation mode).

You look pretty fit, adding muscle and getting lean should be pretty attainable for you.
 
Yeah, I'd get my test levels checked asap if it weren't so damn expensive. 150 $ (or euros, as in my case) feels like a shitload of money to spend on something like that, and my budjet is kinda tight right now.

I'll be going on an 11 day vacation trip tomorrow, so I may not get a chance to respond to further replies, but I would certainly welcome them so I can get back to them once I return.
 
It sounds to me like your problem is wanting to get muscle and lose fat at the same time. You have to do one or the other at a time. If you lift right, and eat enough you should gain about 1 lb./week during a bulk. If you are concerned about getting 'ripped', it is 90% diet. For lifting stop trying for gains, and just lift enough each week to maintain your strength and muscle mass. You need to cut calories until you are losing weight every week. It is not easy to get ripped, it is very hard and painful! And don't say it is not possible for you to get below a certain % of bodyfat, unless you a skeleton, obviuosly there is room to cut more!

If you are stuck at 13% bodyfat and want better, then cut more calories and/or burn more calories! You will lose fat! You may be a person who has a hard time burning fat without losing alot of lean mass, if that is the case then you have decide which is more important to you....Do you want to look really ripped and defined but without much mass? Or would you rather be huge, but sacrifice the 6-pack abs, etc. I think it is better to aim for one of these at least short-term, not many guys in the world have the genetics to get really big AND have low bodyfat levels, at least naturally anyway.
 
ill offer a few pieces of advice as ive had similar feelings about some of the things your talking about.

get your test level checked, as recommended. lower sex drive at 22 is a warning sign you should heed. its expensive to many but look at it this way. if your fine then good for you, $150 bought you piece of mind and was probably less then youll spend on supps in the next yr or 2. if its low, well you just spent $150 on what it takes some $1000 of wasted dollars and 1000's of wasted hours to find out.

write down what your goals are, both short term and ultimate and stick with them. you say you want to look like you lift. 5'11" 170-188 is probably not what most have in mind when they say "you look like you lift" and youve been cutting!!!! im not trying to get down on you, weve all been there. you get a little muscle and right away you want to lean up and show it off. all your really doing is undermining your progress. some folks gain quicker then others but dont make the mistake of comparing yourself to them, youll never win. just concentrate on your goals and with each passing week youll be that much closer.

if you truely want to get bigger its going to take time. just keep eating big and lifting hard cycle after cycle until your sure you "look like you lift" and then go another 2-3 cycles. dont worry so much about the fat gain along the way (shoot for 1lb a week and youll be fine) there will be time to take it off.

ive said it before but, it takes YEARS of hard work and serious eating to build a solid physique yet it takes MONTHS of hard work and serious eating to lose a decent amount of fat....which one do you think you should get started on first?

good luck
 
All good posts. I have the same problems as you, but I'm 53. Not many at your age would have low test. Someone on here thought I should get my insulin resistance checked, as that could be the culprit as well. Just something else to think about. But first what the guys said. Proper training and diet before anything.
It sure sounds like low test to me though...except you are sleeping. And do you have fatigue problems in the afternoons? Irritability?
 
I agree with the guys too. Buy yourself some peace of mind and then forget about it. If this is really that important to you (as it seems to be) then make it a MUST to get the test sorted. Otherwise, you'll always be wondering about it and any negative thoughts will lessen your determination to succeed.
 
You need to get a full hormone profile if going down that road.

Insulin (prob fasting)
Thyroid
Test
Bound TEst
Oestradiol
Thyroid
IGF-1
Cortisol
will insurance or the government national health scheme not cover it?
 
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