It's good to be tired (you might wanna try a little Xanax, too).
Actually I would love to try it but I would be risking my job if I did. I just came off Fluoxetine (generic Prozac), for anxiety, after 4 months because it would have required me to submit for a Medical Evaluation Board (MEB) which if denied would have cost me my job five and a half years from retirement.
The story in a nutshell is that I’ve always butted heads with some of the bosses, especially one of the E-9s who was here. It led to him having a personal vendetta against me and trying to get to me any way he could. Since he couldn’t get under my skin directly (8 years in the Corps and 4 years in the Army so Air Force NCOs are a joke to me) he went after a friend of mine. She was a 23 year old who had befriended and started carpooling with me. We became very trusted friends sharing things with each other people would be uncomfortable telling their priest in confession.
Because I’m a civilian technician what he could do to me is severely limited but she was on temporary active duty orders supporting her family and her deadbeat husband’s mother and two other sons while working another part time job and going to school full time. This ass decided to separate us by putting her on day shift; I’m swing shift which would have totally screwed up her second job, school and what little family life she had. Being scared of losing her active duty orders she wasn’t going to fight it so I did.
The battle raged for about 2 months before I won a Pyrrhic victory, she got to say on nights but couldn’t carpool with me anymore. In the process they tried to pressure her to file a sexual harassment complaint against me which she wouldn’t because there wasn’t any. However, they succeeded in scaring her into staying away from me. I tried to talk her into filing a sexually discrimination complaint against them but she was scared she’d loose her orders and also afraid of what would come out in any testimony, she had told me a lot of “unflattering” things she had done that her husband didn’t know about and didn’t want to give him any ammunition if she filed for a divorce.
To make things worse this crap they pulled confirmed to our coworkers that the requisite rumors we were screwing were in fact true which of course someone relayed to her husband. I could go on but suffice to say this turned into one giant f**k story and because of her fear of what I might come out in any testimony I felt precluded from filing any law suits too. The frustration of watching a friend screwed with like this on my account and not being able to do anything about it pushed me to the edge and I had to go on meds. I came off of them both because of the MEB I would have to have submitted for and they had pretty much stopped working. However, every day I go to work I’m reminded of this crap and it drives me to distraction not being able to do anything about it without screwing her over.
The reason I started lifting again is because I was up to running 70-100 miles a week to burn off the anger energy. That was becoming all-consuming so I decided to start lifting both to regain some of the weight I had lost because of this and because I can exhaust myself lifting in much less time than running requires.
Sorry for being so long winded but I figured I might as well just get it out there. Not to mention talking about it is hopefully therapeutic.